Bittersweet....

Today was a sad day for both mommy and Gavin. Today I told my boss that I would not be returning from maternity leave. I tried to negotiate and work a deal so that I could return but my boss just wasn't willing and there was no way that I would work just to put my kids in daycare. In fact, if I missed one day of work I would end up having to pay! So as I said... instead of spending $550 a week we decided I should stay at home. (You might see me at Target at night but hey!)
This is hard for me... I've never been a stay at home mom and I actually find it easier to be a working mom! You get time with your children and your own time with adult friends! However, my sadness is really more for Gavin. He has never known life without being in preschool. He loves his friends at school and asks me on a daily basis if he can go back yet. Yesterday I had to tell him we weren't going to be going back... he started crying and said.. "why? cause we ran out of money's?" It was cute but really sad!
In the meantime I will be looking for a job that pays better so that both of my children can go to preschool... or I will end up getting a part time job and sending Gavin to a half day preschool.
It's so hard ... especially when I don't know where the money is going to come from to pay for all the added expenses.... until then I will just try to remember that everything happens for a reason and God has a plan for me...

Until then I will try my best to enjoy the extra time I get to spend with my two little blessings!

All prayers would be greatly appreciated! :)